Tips for Success on New Year’s Eve
Tip #1 - Just because you hated last year, doesn’t mean everyone else did too
For many of you, New Year’s Eve isn’t so much a celebration as it is a funeral. It is a perfect way to say good-bye with a big fuck you to the previous year that nearly killed you or made you want to kill yourself. For the other half of the population, this is a much more hopeful night with positive reflection on the last year and excitement for the new one to come. Do not ruin this for them. Keep your misery bottled up for just this one night if you are indeed lucky enough to be around people and not home alone in the dark crying. When talking to others, follow their cheery lead and agree that the next year is going to be “totally awesome” and “the best year yet.” Lift your glass, toast with a smile and always be sure to say “happy new year” each and every time. Avoid mentioning that your loved one cheated on you, you lost your job, you’ve never felt more alone in your life and that death is the only thing that brings you comfort at the end of the day. Any expression of regret, anguish or misery will put a damper on the night of anyone that speaks to you and is flat out selfish. Do this too many times and you will surely be as alone as you irrationally feel.
This New Year’s Eve, if you’re down in the dumps and sick of it all just pretend you’re Al Pacino with your sights set on another Oscar playing the role of Happy McHappy in the new film by Ron Howard, Life is Awesome and So Am I! Save the dark tales of hopelessness for your shrink.
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!
