Brian Lerner

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Posts tagged with "sarcasm"

Dec 7

Tips to Success in Life

Tip #1 - Be a douche bag some of the time

Look around you. Notice something? If you are looking in the right places you’ll see that some very successful people whether it is in business, in the arts or in having the hottest boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve ever seen all have something in common. Maybe not all of the time, but definitely some of the time these people are douche bags.

It’s a strange thing about humanity and the rules of attraction. Being too nice, despite it making complete rational sense, is a big turn off. Our subconscious and conscious battling it out once again. Although we know we shouldn’t like it when someone treats us poorly, our subconscious is drawn to that person. Being a douche bag in business leads to more power and influence over others around you. In love, being a douche plays into an underlying need for us all to be accepted. It makes no fucking sense at all, but don’t blame me; blame DNA. This insanity is indeed hardwired into our genes. Go ahead, try and fight it. You can’t. Give up.

What you can do is accept it and adapt. If you’re too nice, figure out those moments when there is an opportunity to not be nice and give it a shot. Learn something from George Costanza and do the opposite of what you would normally do. Do this enough times and the results will follow. You’ll soon find that you are relied on more at work, getting praised for that shitty painting of a Maple tree and banging hotties in dirty places like a bathroom stall at Newark airport.  

If you really want to get ahead in life first you must get under people’s skin. 

Tips for Success in Web Video

Tip #1 - Ride Coattails

When it comes to online video, with rare exception originality takes a backseat to happenstance and parody. Think about all the “viral” videos you’ve seen shared on Facebook usually with the accompanying message, “OMG! This is hysterical! You HAVE to see this!” More often than not, it is a spoof of some current events story, a crude home video capturing a cat hugging a dog or a new version of that other video you just saw two days ago only now with Auto-Tune. When seeking adoration and praise in online video it’s much easier and smarter to align yourself with something that’s already done the hard work rather than come up with a winner all on your own. After all, the Internet is a collaborative space right? What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours… until it starts making me money and then I’ll sue your fucking ass.

So, next time you’re ready to tackle the next big project that you’re sure will stand out from the sewer of content invading our lives everyday because it’s so clever and original and really exploits the beauty of the Internet in every way, just forget it. You will be much better off simply waiting outside the dentist office with a video camera waiting for some drugged up kid to piss on his mom’s leg on the way out. LOL!